all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
