found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
