i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
