I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Randomize
