Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
