Is it normal to miss your booty call?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
