Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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