I just saw a hot homeless man
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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