I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
