so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
