I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I think a kid would responsible me up
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
