I'm going to jail i love you
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
