I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
