so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
