Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
