ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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