Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
