I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize