Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
nutella sex= disaster
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
