hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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