I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
