i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
