ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
