i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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