weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
