i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
