Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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