Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Someone came in the potted fern
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
