good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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