'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize