Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
