I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
