the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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