She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Randomize
