then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
