In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
