no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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