Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
