sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
