my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
