and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
