Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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