That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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