Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
