just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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