and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
