is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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