dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
