So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
