I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
