either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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