we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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