No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
