As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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