This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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