I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
She's not a foreskin expert like you
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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