i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
