The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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