I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
