I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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