just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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