are you still at the devil's house?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
