There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
